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MyCourtesyLaugh
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Name: .Alyssa.Atkins.
Country: United States
State: California
Metro: Clovis
Birthday: 3/24/1986
Gender: Female
Interests: I like going out and having fun, doing new and exciting things.
God plays a very important and crucial role in my life, and so does my family and friends-- They all mean so much to me. I love you guys! <333
Expertise: Sleeping. Jack of all trades, master at none.
Occupation: Student
Message: message meEmail: email me
Website: visit my website
AIM:  Mycourtesylaugh
Member Since:
1/31/2003
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| So the 1st years (which would be me and my class)
threw the 2nd years (my sister and her class) their graduation party.
Which was a pool party.
haha it was so much fun, I think maybe only 7 of us swam
but it was still awesome.
the whether was pretty good too, it was a little overcast,
but eventually the sun came out. =)
p.s. 12 hour work days suck!
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| I sit here with tears streaming down my face,
wondering how to be the perfect girlfriend.
I honestly don't know how I can be.
I know I can't.
but i desperately want to be.
There are so many things brought to my attention
just within the last few hours, on how I'm imperfect.
I want to be the girl who trusts wholeheartedly.
I hate the relationships I've been in that have caused
me to doubt the relationship I'm in now.
not the actual relationship though,
I trust where my heart is,
and where his is.
I just have a hard time letting go of the past.
things that don't even involve him.
I feel like I could lose him because of how my last relationship was.
and that tears me apart.
He's perfect for me.
but I've made him think he's not who I want him to be.
because I want him to change.
I get jealous. what girl doesn't.
I love him to death and I don't want him to change at all.
I realize more and more the things I'm doing wrong,
and that how I'm seeing things are from a screwed up perspective,
and it's causing ridiculous arguments between us.
It hurts so much hearing the things you're doing wrong though.
I feel like I'm the only one who causes the arguments,
and I don't want to be!
I hate fighting, more than anything, yet that seems to be
what I'm good at.
I hate the things I do or say that hurt him.
I want to change so badly.
but I don't even know how.
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| I wish I could fast forward a year.
just one year!
// I would practically be done with school.
// studying for my national exam.
// planning my wedding.
[p.s. I'm not engaged yet.. so you haven't missed
any big announcement. =)]
// looking for a house.
// looking for a job
I want to start all of these things now!
but obviously, it's way too soon.
I wish I knew what colors I wanted for my wedding,
and I wish I knew what style I wanted.
I wish I had some sort of idea...
but I feel lost when it comes to planning.
It seems like every girl spends their time planning everything out perfectly,
even before they've met their groom!
oh well, my time will come. =)
I'll be patient, and trust in the Lord.
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Sigmund Freud smoked 20 cigars a day.
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| I'm very tempted to come back to xanga.
or at least just not tell anyone I'm still using it.
It seems that if I say anything that someone
doesn't agree with [on myspace], than problems start.
And I'm very tired of it.
On myspace I can't seem to just say what I want to
without someone jumping on my back.
Seriously though, people, let me be.
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Salt is the only rock humans can eat.
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| I'm sick. and I don't like it.
but, I mean, who does, right?
I think I might be almost over it. ::Crosses fingers::
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I darkened my hair last week. I love it.
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They canceled school today, so I totally slept in. yesss.
Now I need to go wash my car, and pay some bills. =/
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Before 1863, mail service in the U.S. was free.
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